In November of 2016 I had an opportunity to vote for several elected officials. It should come as no surprise to people who know me and my background that I come from a fairly conservative, pro-military, fiscally conservative background. In a generalization, I was republican.
In November of 2016 I was also a new mom of 4 (of 4, not a new mom) and not nearly has current to the world as I want, hope or still strive to be. God had already starting revealing to me my white privilege at this point but it was still the beginning of the journey for me realizing the racism that persists in my heart. Yes racism; yes I have two black children and I thank God everyday for those two children for so many reasons. One definitely is that God used them as a catalyst to pull back my blinders of white privilege and racism in my own life and in American culture.
In November of 2016 I "voted" for names I didn't recognize for several areas of government. I came to the president section and sat there for 10 minutes in agony. I reviewed and reviewed and felt helpless. I had men and women of faith I trust tell me why to vote for Trump and why not to vote for Trump. I justified in my head that I live in Texas so we are going red, mine clearly doesn't matter. And then clicked the bubble for Trump instead of Clinton. I was shocked that he was even on the ballot and spent all of 2016 thinking there is no way it will happen. And it did.
In June of 2018, my journey of understanding the stories and experiences of people not like me has continued. And I realized that the election outcome happened because of people like me. Shocked that his name ever got on the ballot. Shocked and yet still clicked the bubble. I regret voting for Trump. I wish I hadn't. My "reckless" vote is part of why we are where we are right now. Were there reasons? Sure, but now I know they weren't the important ones. Especially to my marginalized friends, I am sorry. I didn't make time to understand your experience in the United States and how people, policies, and laws are prejudiced. To my daughters and fellow women, I'm sorry a voted for someone that treats us as objects. On the moral values I hold and the God I trust, I shouldn't have voted for him.
In June of 2018, I struggle with "hiding" behind comments made like "Who could possibly have voted for him?" I feel called not to hide but to repent and ask for forgiveness for my ignorance and choice. I still have to live knowing I voted for him but should I hide?
In June of 2018, I choose to admit my mistake and say that despite my vote, this is wrong. I don't have to "live" with my vote for 4 years and file in the ranks. I can try to build bridges and not vote along party lines. I can build relationships with people NOT like me to understand different backgrounds and perspective. I can choose to sacrifice things for me and my life to elevate those who have been marginalized for centuries.
In June of 2018, I can ask those that read this to honestly ask themselves if separating children
from their family of origin is acceptable to deter immigration? I love all 4 of my children, yet two are with their family of origin and two are not. The two that aren't, feel the pain, the trauma, and the loss of identity of having parents that don't look like them and don't share their DNA. I understand immigration is a hot topic and the solutions are hard and difficult and I don't have answers. I just know the incredible value of family and have to say something.
In June of 2018, I choose to say that the Attorney General's use of Romans 13:1 is a gross mischaracterization. Read the entire chapter here. One part to highlight; "You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. And AG, please remember some heroes of faith that did the morally right thing despite the law: Shiphrah and Puah, Rahab, Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego, Daniel, and the Apostles whom continued to share the gospel here and here.
In June of 2018, I choose to contact my representatives in Texas to say I don't support the separation of families at the border. If you live where I live, the information is below.
Representative John Carter : 202-225-3864
Texas Senator John Cornyn : 202-224-2934
Texas Senator Ted Cruz : 202-224-5922
