12 days of Christmas...

First, let me just get this done with, I do love my babies....all 4 of them.  I also tell my oldest 3 that Zeke is my favorite because he doesn't talk back and eats what I give him. I know full well that in 3 years when Zeke is 3, one of the others will be the favorite.

Second, yes, it's been an incredibly long time since I last posted...basically our finalization of adoption 18 months ago.  Lots has changed since then. Just check out the new family photo with a new family member.

Third, I have done one Christmas card my whole life and it was when Jojo (Jolie and Josiah) joined our family. Consider this our Christmas card :)

Now, why I am really here.  I want to provide a very deep and insightful post about how awesome the Christmas season is but this isn't it.  And I have had some incredible highlights:

• Swimming at Nana and Gdaddy's in December because they heated the pool
• Seeing Aunt Abby, Uncle Brett, and cousin Etta
• Christmas Eve service and Christmas Day service at church where my kids got snow that I'm totally ok with experiencing!
• Sweet time with neighbors before Christmas playing games
• SUGAR (let's be honest, TOO MUCH sugar)
• Several sweet moments in the Word with Jesus teaching me about why He is the reason for the season.

Those moments have also had their counterparts:

• 2 rather large fights with the husband mostly out of exhaustion
• Tempers flaring at my children whom I adore yet they can drive me to crazy faster than anyone
• 6 hours in a van packed for what looked like a 3 month vacation because a family of 6 is a lot of people in which I ordered our mobile CFA (Chick-Fil-A for people who don't live in the south or have children) for the wrong location.
• Discipline for hitting and fighting over toys they have had less than 24 hours
• Sleepless night on Christmas Eve because why not have your worst infant night that night?

Just a mere 12 days ago I was longing for a break from our daily life and schedule.  No real reason to get out of bed, relax at my parents, get some rest. Well those 12 days have come and gone and I am done! I had dreams of a Christmas day where no discipline or parenting is needed because every child is happy with what they got and they don't want to fight over what s/he has. I had a dream that they will be happy on the what I now call "the-most-terrible-day-of-the-year," December 26th. That's right, December 26th is now a day where there is no more gifts and no more gratitude.  I am so ready for school to be back.  I don't even care that it actually starts on Monday, January 2nd , technically a holiday. Breaks are so important but 2 FULL weeks with sugar, gifts, Santa, Jesus, family, parties, etc have exhausted me and my family. It's funny how I thought the schedule and daily life exhausted me and just 12 days ago I wanted the break.

As I write this though, I wonder how Jesus views my attitude after the Christmas day has come and gone? Am I over the gifts He has given me? Have I lost the gratitude? Did He sin when He was tired? Do I "fight" over someone else's spiritual gifts because mine aren't as cool? At the beginning of advent season, I memorized 1 Timothy 1:15: "This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost."

Moms, non-schedules are tough and so are schedules. And 4 kids is tough; so is 1 when it's all you know. Don't look for balance (that's a curse word with my mom friends) but look for what is needed right now I suppose.  I needed the break...Now, I need the schedule. But thankfully Jesus came for this stuff.  He came for sinners; me and my kids. I'm thankful for the reminder that my sin doesn't quit on Christmas but neither does His grace.

P.S. Can someone remind me how I feel right now when March comes around and I am READY for a BREAK?